Happy New Year!
OK, lately I and one of my business partners have been feeling the crunch of too much on our metaphorical plate. The result has been putting too much on our dinner plate.
I was walking today and I had a revelation about food and how it leads to our growing waistline and shrinking esteem.
What I realized is that as we lose our ability to care for ourselves in meaningful ways, we begin to pick up that slack with food. In other words, when we find that we have no "me" time, we begin to take care of ourselves in the most rudimentary ways possible. Usually this is with poor food choices.
Face it, when all the planets are aligned and the time gods are in our favor, we take better care of ourselves. We exercise, we pamper, we primp, we bathe longer and sleep more. Because we meet our needs in these ways, we have the ability to cope and to make better choices.
When we are maxed out in time or credit cards, or both, we begin to shrink. We begin to stop allowing the time necessary for us to take the best care of ourselves. So, one way or another, the ego wants what it wants and if you are not going to feed it with experiences, then it wants you to feed it with food.
Have you noticed that when you are super maxed out, you make the worst food choices. It is because subconsciously you realize that the next thing you put into your mouth can feel like love or rejection. The texture, the warmth, the taste can take you away for a moment in time and it feels worth it at the time. It feels "lovely." It may be impossible in your mind to exercise if it is dark at 5 PM - "deprived" - BUT, you can grab a Twix really easily and the immediate sugar rush makes you feel energized. It may be impossible in your mind to afford what you used to have and do - "deprivation" - BUT, thanks to the dollar menu, you can have a yummy cheeseburger pretty easily.
When I realized that I was loving myself with food, I realized that I really need to love myself better. So I and my partner are making some changes. Small ones that will not make us feel rejected by ourselves, and we are trying to reclaim our "me" time to offset the reasons that we want Ben and Jerry so much . . .
One step at a time.
About Me
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Lessons for Life
Written by a newspaper columnist in MN
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 70 in August, so here goes:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But, the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take "no" for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness, except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone for everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of whom God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative--dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up . . .
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 70 in August, so here goes:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But, the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take "no" for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness, except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone for everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of whom God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative--dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up . . .
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Did Ya Miss Me?
I cannot believe how long it has been since I have posted! I am so sorry. I have learned a lot about the price you pay for over extending yourself. I took on too many things and my life became stretched so thin, that I began to lose myself.
It didn't happen quickly, it took time, like a slow leak of a water faucet. As my time was more and more filled, slowly things started to become more and more challenging. I couldn't get the laundry done, I couldn't get to the store.
Since I prioritized my time, my allegiance went to the activities that brought income into my life, so I put all of my time and energy into my work. This left little to no time for blogging, or cleaning, or smelling the roses.
At first, the income was great. I paid off debt and had a few more dinners out. Then, the stress of going home to a dirty house started to take its tole on my relationships. The stress of not fulfilling personally rewarding things began to take its tole on me.
I stopped blogging, exercising, making home-cooked meals nightly, cleaning my shower or my garage and my closet. Oh, you can't even imagine.
Last month, I took it all back into my control. I have learned that there is a line between doing all that you can, and being all that you can. Many of us think that we work too hard, but we don't. We mismanage time and we waste time. Sometimes we are plain avoidant and lazy and tell ourselves we are too busy. I always prided myself on being honest about how I spent my time and working smart and not hard. It is possible that you can spread yourself too thin.
Remember, life is about harmony. You need to find a way to manage aspects of your financial, emotional, spiritual, physical and relational life.
My plan is to do one thing per day with consistency that will help me address all five pillars:
1. Financial: Check my bank posts online daily to avoid "surprises."
2. Emotional: Wake each morning and think about what I am grateful for and how I want my day to go.
3. Spiritual: Meditate at least once per day.
4. Physical: 30 minutes of exercise daily at a minimum.
5. Relational: Every day connect with my kids and fiances to make sure there is one-to-one time.
That is my plan. What is yours? Let this blog know how you keep from spreading yourself too thin. Your posts are most welcome!
It didn't happen quickly, it took time, like a slow leak of a water faucet. As my time was more and more filled, slowly things started to become more and more challenging. I couldn't get the laundry done, I couldn't get to the store.
Since I prioritized my time, my allegiance went to the activities that brought income into my life, so I put all of my time and energy into my work. This left little to no time for blogging, or cleaning, or smelling the roses.
At first, the income was great. I paid off debt and had a few more dinners out. Then, the stress of going home to a dirty house started to take its tole on my relationships. The stress of not fulfilling personally rewarding things began to take its tole on me.
I stopped blogging, exercising, making home-cooked meals nightly, cleaning my shower or my garage and my closet. Oh, you can't even imagine.
Last month, I took it all back into my control. I have learned that there is a line between doing all that you can, and being all that you can. Many of us think that we work too hard, but we don't. We mismanage time and we waste time. Sometimes we are plain avoidant and lazy and tell ourselves we are too busy. I always prided myself on being honest about how I spent my time and working smart and not hard. It is possible that you can spread yourself too thin.
Remember, life is about harmony. You need to find a way to manage aspects of your financial, emotional, spiritual, physical and relational life.
My plan is to do one thing per day with consistency that will help me address all five pillars:
1. Financial: Check my bank posts online daily to avoid "surprises."
2. Emotional: Wake each morning and think about what I am grateful for and how I want my day to go.
3. Spiritual: Meditate at least once per day.
4. Physical: 30 minutes of exercise daily at a minimum.
5. Relational: Every day connect with my kids and fiances to make sure there is one-to-one time.
That is my plan. What is yours? Let this blog know how you keep from spreading yourself too thin. Your posts are most welcome!
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