Today I am
reaching out to all of you who are easily offended. I am speaking to
people who are thin-skinned, pout a lot, become passive aggressive
because you feel you are always at odds with other people and
generally overly emotional about what people say in relation to
yourself.
Everything in
life simply “is” until we attach meaning to it. The filter in our
head sifts through what we see, hear and experience and attaches
emotions and meaning to it. Sometimes if we grew up without proper
nurturing we develop a lost sense of self, one that craves acceptance
and inclusion. We long for people to reinforce to us that we matter
and that we are loved just the way we are. Sometimes if we are
coddled or given a false sense of our importance we stay stuck in the
self-centered two year old phase of “it's mine” or believe the
world revolves around our needs and desires. Both ends of this
spectrum can create people who are so diligent in their beliefs that
they are easily offended by others who don't place them front and
center.
Being able to
take one for the team, hold your tongue when you disagree or
disengage judgement against others takes emotional self control. When
you announce to the world that you are offended you are also
announcing that you have no emotional self control and therefor are
expecting others to have it for you by not doing that “thing”
that makes you mad.
When I was
younger, I thought I had knowledge and therefor wanted to change
circumstances. Now that I am wiser, I realize that I need changing
from within and that change automatically changes the world. With
changed thoughts in my head about what is offensive, who is offensive
and why I even get offended I react differently to what is coming
into my brain to be sifted by my unique filter. I recognize my
ability to twist information into something that someone never
intended. I recognize that sometimes I was being offended and making
something not about me, about me.
If you are
easily offended, get wounded all the time and people are always
having to modify their natural selves to manage your emotions, you
need to get a grip. You need to figure out what button is being
pushed when you start to pout and then put that thought into
emotional time out. It is a relief to know that everything and
everyone is not directly tied to you. Your spouse and children should
have elements of life that aren't attached to your hip, it doesn't
mean you are rejected. It is fine if someone else at work is
recognized and you aren't, it doesn't mean your work goes unnoticed.
If you don't get invited somewhere with the “in” crowd you don't
need to cry in the closet because you were left out, maybe if you
were more easy to be with, you would get more invitations.
Life coaching
isn't always about dessert. Sometimes we have to eat our vegetables.
Some changes we need to make in ourselves feel like punishment, but
just like exercising, if you do the hard work, the results not only
look good, they feel good too.