One of the best
things I have learned in life is that everyone has a story that makes
sense to them. For everything you witness in someone else, for
everything you judge as weird, wrong, stupid, unacceptable, what you
wouldn't do or just plain annoying, the person doing it has a reason
why it is the way it is. We judge people based on having only part of
the information. We judge people based on the word of others. We
judge people without fully knowing why they do what they do. We judge
people based on our narrow scope of how we believe things should be
done.
If you are
judgmental you spend time in your day thinking about and talking
about other people in a way that mocks them, pokes fun at their
clothes, their habits or their lifestyle. In doing this, you are in
essence stating your superiority to them and classifying them as
unequal to you. You may not like their personality, you may think
they act in ways that embarrass themselves or make you uncomfortable.
Their differences make you feel justified in speaking about them to
others.
If you are
being judged, there is something you should know. Judgement is
feedback. Hearing something that someone has said about you is simply
feedback based on what they see, have heard or speculate about you.
Sometimes what they are saying is simply sophomoric drama that should
have been left at the middle school playground years ago and perhaps
somewhere in there is a grain of truth that you may want to examine.
The fact is
that who we are and how we interact with others is a reaping and a
sowing of relationships. We reap what we sow. The question is if what
they are saying about you is them sowing (or planting seeds for their
own future) or you reaping (receiving the harvest of your past
decisions).
If you have had
a habit of being judgmental, talking about people, making fun of them
or delighting in their hard times, you may be sowing a seed that will
reap you a harvest of being put into a position to be judged and feel
the pain of being outcast and unaccepted. You may be the bell of the
ball one day and find yourself out of favor the next.
The truth is
that often times we are too bored in our lives to grow up and leave
childish ways behind us. I think about Louisiana and the people
facing another hurricane this week. When I visited Louisiana post
Katrina, there was a sense of maturity with the people. Their tragedy
had humbled them. They learned the value of all people. They knew how
to band together in love because they faced a real threat. Now facing
it again, they are going into it stronger and more connected.
Don't wait for
a tragedy to help you grow up. Stop judging others, start helping
others. Stop thinking about what you need, start seeing what others
need. Stop thinking about how you are so different, start seeing how
you are the same. Sow seeds of kindness and love and reap a harvest
of acceptance and joy.